You can read more about baby development at different months here. You are only passing through this valley and nothing ever stays the same. She wouldnt even look at me when I tried to comfort her. Since my son, per judge, lives only with his dad. If your baby was nursing well and suddenly refuses your breast, this may be what some call a . I cant stop crying. So the estrangement between the two of you became mutual. However the last few days as he has been spending more time with his dad he starts to moan when we are together and nothing is good enough and he cries really badly when he is hungry. Just feel depressed that my 11-month-old does not want me and prefers my mom all the time its my fault.. due to certain unavoidable circumstances I had to leave her with my parents in my home country for 5 months, and now I am reunited with her (at 10 months)..its been a month with her now.. Ive been trying to bring her around to like me.. she does like me, I spend quite some time with her. So you are probably doing a fabulous job with making her feel safe with you and also maybe she hasnt yet started to suffer from separation anxiety. !<3 n Yes no matter how they are with you, you love them soooooo much without something in return! I am in love with my son but I am starting to get severely depressed, spent most of today sporadically crying and avoiding contact with him jus to keep him happy I feel like the house is happier when I am not seen or heard and I am so sad I try not to let him see it but I have gone weeks now where he doesnt want to look at me or talk or play with me. Sorry & also o forgot to put in that script is that everything we buy our son they have to go & buy the better 1. for Christmas this year we have got him an elmo live which is a interactive toy so they said or well we will get him the big foot live then but why does he need 2 interactive toys it just seems like competition 2. I am prone to mild depression and can be a bit of a hermit sometimes. Hi all, Is my life set for me, and I meant to be rejected by everyone. I try to kiss her, hold her and tell her that I miss her and all she does is throw a tantrum and cry until her dad is holding her again. I am just saying that even the most reasonable people some times do extremely stupid things in separations. While he seems to love me insofar as he smiles at me and reaches for me, he doesnt really notice if I leave to go in to another room or whatever. Create a soothing atmosphere 3. Skype is also, of course, an option, but your babies may not respond to that with any great interest there and then. If you are even in the vicinity of your daughter when the nanny is there, she will scream for you and you alone. I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. There are studies showing that babies that are being held a lot actually become independent faster. I also have a 5 year old daughter and she is the opposite. When he was about 10 mos, I went back to work f/t. I kind of gave up trying to figure it out, and just really tried to just remain bright and happy and easy going. From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. I dont know what to do. Join her in her happiness when dad come home and let her know that her love of dad is OK. She cries hysterically when she hears her mothers voice on the phone and starts saying No No No. She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . And be there when they come back. Your little one will still be provided with consistent, loving care. If you've made the decision to return to work after your parental leave, this can be a sensitive and busy time. After her leather boots and Gucci throw shopping spree she was obviously not able to pay her rent. We should all hold our heads up with pride at what AWESOME mothers and fathers we are, how dearly we love our children. But I feel like Im not supposed to think that. Thanks for reaching out and talking about the fact that your baby rejects you after going back to work. We now understand that this is just a phase and will follow through on your suggestions, Well i am very upset these days my problem is when i use to come back from home my baby didnt comes to me he goes to everyones hand except me i use to cry at night daily of this reason i have fear that he will forget me forever and the attachment will not develop between me and with my baby in 24 hrs he use to come in my hand for only 1 hr.Will my baby forgets me forever or will not i use to wait daily for him at office to meet him as soon as possible but he doesnt gives any reaction to me when i come to home,i am very tensed please give solid solution as he is closed to his grandma and with my brother-in-law. I try to fix this by not responding to the kid and shouting at her and show her that I am bad. Speak with Your Boss. I cant imagine how hard it must be to have lived with this with your daughter for years. Some babies who take a bottle early . this time we were alone in the room. Please help me to know what is the problem? Now at 10 months old, she treated me with the same fondness and love that she had showed my husband during her early months. Recently, its really been getting to me. i relly need some advise before i go crazy please :(. In all honestly, she did take a bottle eventually. His Aunt told me its just a novelty for him. Or give me some advice so she wont freak out on me like she does? We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. Ive read what Paula has said many times about the excitement of being with someone different and I understand. Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. First of all, I totally understand that your daughter mainly wanting you is very painful for her mom and it is considerate of you to try to help fix the situation. Here are five ways you can get ready to go back to work. It is common at this age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute. Pump or hand express your milk. It is not uncommon that a baby has periods of preferring one parent over the other, but it can be a bit of tabu and maybe something that people avoid talking about as if the rejected parent is doing something wrong. When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. Unfortunately she has developed a deep bond with my mother (as to be expected) and not me. My partner has always spoilt her by carrying her around on his hip what seems like constantly, so when he comes in from work she is happy and smiley and wants him to cuddle her and pick her up and she wont even look my way! Everyone has told me that boys love their mommy and Im sure he does but I wish he didnt do that because like the other moms on this site, it really hurts my feelings. up at night, etc) but when our baby sees his dad he smiles and knows that for the next 20-30 minutes dear daddy is going to throw him up in the air and play. There is a worker at her nursery who she is not keen on and she scratched her yesterday which puts me in the same category as her I guess. Maybe cuddle up the three of you in her bed for a little story or lullaby? There are a few things you should have on your list during the discussion: i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. Babies have a huge radar for love. I just know it can be the case no matter what you do. May I ask how your relationship is when dad is not around? But in your case, I would say that this is not a relevant worry! Disguise the bottle. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. For many people, this factor carries the most weight in their decision. But she preferred to be cuddled by my mom instead. I was born to an ignorant mother who failed to nurture me. Please advice what should I do. (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). You sound beyond sad, really despairing. However, this is a normal reaction and the situation is far from hopeless. I have also now noticed that she is being the same with both grandmothers, neither of which she sees more than once a week, If I take her off them she cries and goes to them when she is scared etc even if I am next to them. From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. 1. Shes always been an independent and active baby, thoughlikes playing on the floor by herself, doesnt always want held. Discuss a plan with mom. If we know why this is happening maybe we can change it! A really good book to start with is: The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment. If i let her have her way, ill never get to be with her because she never wants me. Ive experienced this rejection since she is about 3 months old, but it is now that she expresses herself that it is really affecting me and I just dont know how to cope with it anymore. By the way, take a look at these two articles regarding avoiding power struggles at meal time and childrens eating habits to see if they may offer any help regarding making your daughter eat. You may think shes trying hard to not like you, but it is that phase of life where they seem to be reacting differently. He is adorable such an angel baby, doesnt cry unless hungry, sleeps all night from 3 months, ready with a smile. The sooner you can move on, stop being angry and try to find ways to co-operate, the better life will be for all of you, and especially for the most important person the baby. 6. Maybe I will have better luck with a second kid. I hope what you said is true and its just a phase. I cry all the time. I have to try to remember that she is completely egocentric and has no awareness that I have feelings nevertheless I am finding myself in tears more often than not. Give your girl as much time, love, attention, and body contact as you can. Let's go for a stroll! Try the sleep and switch. What should I do Please help. And I really hope that this is just a phase that she is going through. Sigh. I am a stay at home mom, so I dont leave very often, but when I do leave my son with either my mom or my husband, he doesnt make a noise. Assess your breastfeeding status If your baby is just a few weeks old and you must return to work, you may feel breastfeeding is not yet well established. It is a relationship that binds every human for their whole life. She is almost 10 months old. In 2019, the labor force participation rate for women was 57.4%, compared with 69.2% for men, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). What he really needs might be to have more fun and more time with his dad. ), are hard-wired so to speak to love their mothers, absent significant abuse and/or neglect. Lots of quiet, cuddly games with your little one on your lap. To all those beautiful mummies and daddies who have shared their heart with us, you are so not alone, I have had pnd anxiety since my little man was about 2 months old and I used to feel this way so much that it broke my spirit and heart. In my observation some babies who dont do this have mothers who dont hold them a lot and are less responsive but not always. Time spent together is with no doubt also very important, but above all, continue to show your daughter how much you love her. 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